Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Resuming Forth (fragment)

Fragments Reunify (Z.K. 2013)

The piece of paper inside the bag held those words:

 “I sedated my days because I wanted to control them. Pain was an obstacle I didn’t know how to pass over. I deliberately turned into a machine trying to conform and fit; trying to uniform. I renounced all my favorite things in order to become mainstream. Frames I’d set on my own, disregarding the real dynamic frames of life. And I fell into lethargy, hibernating for a makeshift survival. I thought this would be the end of my personal duel between mind and heart, by imposing the first on the latter.
 Of course, I was wrong. Apart from what the common sense claims, there also can be irrational logic and rational emotion. A truth I avoided. A truth I failed to recognize. Until I felt numb, drained...From time to time, I wandered aimlessly in a fabulous universe that once had offered me doors to open and indulge into whatever had defined me until then; until that night when a spindle had prickled my finger. One day a melodic kiss flew like a dove, stirred my soul and I started stepping. Awkwardly, but decisively. I opened. Ajar first. Ajar still. Trying to re-adjust, to re-exist again. I’ve got to remember. I’ve got to learn. And I’ve got to love. Afar, closer, in every scope. Not like a hurricane, but mostly like a breeze. Love not by suffocating, but by acceptance and support. Will I manage? I’m not sure. I really doubt. But I think I know how. With faith and hope, my indispensable tools. I’ve got to go on now. I’ve got to live”.

 And she did. Always thankful for having been given the wrong identical bag at the theater coat check that worthwhile night of awakening, she adopted this new pace in her life and made every effort to keep it.


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